"Long ago in a distant land...I, Luku, the shape-shifting master of dankness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But, a foolish samurai hunter, wielding magic biceps, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my evil is THICC! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is the 2017 remake!"


"Twenty-six years have passed. But...I do not age. Live-action has lost its effect on me. Yet...the suffering continues. Luku's grasp chokes the past, present, and future. lost. Got to get back. Back to the past. Samurai Gast."